耳机的用途

很久很久以前，应该是说当我知道有耳机的存在时，我就发觉到它的用途。。。也许对于其他人来说，耳机只不过是用来听歌。。。但这只是其中一个用处而已。。。

它对我来说很重要，就好像音乐在我心中的地位。。。除了用来听歌，其实它是我的好听众。。。同学朋友都说我常常带着它，很想把它拔掉，甚至有些特地说我带了耳机就听不到外面的声音，可以说我坏话。。。

你们都错了。。。其实我听得一清二楚，因为耳机并没有声音。。。只要不想讲话，戴上它就可以了，然后再把心里所想的默默地重复一遍，就当做跟它说好了。。。只要戴上它，什么都可以当做不知，什么都可以不用去理会，只要活在自己的世界，把自己的本分做好就可以了。。。只要戴上它，可以不用给任何的反应，可以不用给任何的表情，可以做回自己的那一面。。。开心时它就给我音乐，有心事时它就听我说话。。。

这个用途跟随了自己很多年，竟然在一套戏里面看到，原来除了自己，还有人会这样做。。。

那些年

那些年。。。短短的，却充满了深刻的回忆。。。享受中学的时期，就是带着那一个兴奋即悠闲的心情。。。

上课时总会打瞌睡或聊天；下课时总会聚在一起；换节时总会拿上厕所当借口去闲逛；考试前才会一起临时抱佛脚；考试时却会一起“讨论”；在班上总会出现一包包的糖果和零食；聚在一起时总会有几个比较鸡婆；聊天时总会说到谁喜欢谁，谁追谁；在一群朋友里总会有个比较特出，吸引的。。。

还记得你那第一次的傻笑。。。就在窗口前，笨笨呆呆，却让人觉得很可爱。。。被人诬赖，捉弄了却还傻傻的笑，一副不介意的样子。。。就是那个笑容，让人羞涩，却有点点的高兴。。。别人都会拿成绩比较，而成绩较弱的却往往被批评，被冷落，甚至会被老师“注意”。你，应该算是其中一位吧。。。每当上课时，你总是在睡觉；每当要考试了，才被父母逼着温习；每当一有时间，就会找机会溜出去打球；每当看见我，那笑容就会出现。。。

一起上课；一起放学；一起吃东西；一起谈天说地；一起对着黑板发呆；一起逃课；一起温习；一起打瞌睡；一起被罚；一起进训导处。。。所有的一起，都成了那甜甜的美好回忆。。。那份单纯的喜欢，就是那么的开心，幸福。。。即使到了现在，各忙各的，就在两个不同的地方，那单纯却浓浓的想念还是会出现。。。错过的一切，都无法在弥补，但每当这些回忆一幕幕的出现在脑海里，嘴角总会露出甜甜的微笑。。。

如果再相遇，好想紧紧的捉住那份单纯却有意义的喜欢~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

journey

Finally...i can log in my blog ...long time no update just because of.....I FORGET PASSWORD > <

There were a lot things happen in this few months..Some happy but some of them sad... The most happy moment incident is exam was over...but.......the most sad moment is we have our own journey start from now...

A long long journey without u,without ur accompany,without ur smile,without ur encourage,without ur warm hug.....the journey is starting...sorry that i lie to myself and also lie to u...although u r important to me and this is not the ending that i want,but...i have no choice cause u let it go...u give up it,so i do not have those courages to continue it...

I scare to space out any 1 second...I scare to think about u if i have that 1 second...so,my time is fully book and it's really pack...Hope that u can always happy with ur choices...and hope that i can overcome it...

心里的话。。。

看着每个人的部落格，心情蛮轻松地。。。就喜欢看着家里每一个人的，想多点了解他们，想多点关心他们，因为，他们给予我的实在是太多了。。。最近都在学习写华语，好难哦 ，而且一直要找字典。。><。。 就因为要完成那份礼物，所以再难也要学写。。。

人，往往就是那么的矛盾。。。就因为自己觉得值得，就可以不顾被伤害。。。对不起哦宝贝，或许以后一切都不会变回原来的样子，但，请相信我所有的一切都是真心的。。。不善于表达的我就是这样咯，唯有写。。。哈哈。。。那份礼物代表了我的诚意，希望它可以被珍惜哦。。。

“你知道吗？我很想你。。。我知道你还是爱着我，虽然分开的理由，我们都已接受。。。”

dreamsssssssss

everyone have their own dream...dreaming is easy and it's so enjoyable for us...maybe i should use 'happy' this word to describe it...the feeling is good,amazing and excited,even it's mighty...

but......do u realize it? this is the problem that we always face. somebody just dream for fun,but somebody will continue to realize it with their willpower. this is what people always say that what you want and done actually is depends on yourself...but,it isn't we just need to do? we just need to do and it will be realize?

seriously,i'm not think so...in realistic,there are so many obstruction happen to us. it will embarrass us to realize our dream...could you think before the feelings of a person who are talented and prefer in performance is facing a lots of calculation just because of have to be a professor? can you imaging how a tourguide's feelings when he/she have to be a financial just because of some reason? you could never know the feelings if you never face it...they just follow it although they don't like,doesn't mean that they are afraid...they just do it for somebody,for some reason...and it is involuntary...they just know that they have to do even how much they don't like,how much it's suffer,but not just do what they want...this is the fact, force of environment...

正常。。。不正常。。。

正常？要怎样才正常？。。。我已经尽力了。。。如果正常让自己变成软弱，怎么办？如果再也没有勇气坚持下去，怎么办？如果眼泪流下，怎么办？

我以为只要忙碌就可以解决一切，所以就把时间排的满满的。拼命的做工，出去，读书，玩，都不要把时间空下。。。努力的大笑，努力的做回一个正常人做的事。。。

但其实，心里多么的想要个依靠，想要一个温暖的抱抱，想要一个关心，想要一个可以躲进去大哭的怀里，想要被人珍惜，想要被人疼爱，想要被人紧紧的捉着不放手。。。但，却害怕自己会变的懦弱，贪心。。。只好这样。。。就只能这样了。。。除了偷偷地伤心难过，也只能伤心难过。。。除了笑，也只能笑。。。除了保持沉默，也只能保持沉默。。。除了在这儿发泄，也只能在这儿了，就算想把这一切告诉他。。。也只能这样了。。。

devil fall in love with who~~~

Devil...It make people suffer and torment no matter physical or mental.


A tension headache is pain or discomfort in the head, scalp, or neck, usually associated with muscle tightness in these areas.If a headache occurs two or more times a week for several months or longer, the condition is considered chronic. Chronic daily headaches can result from the under- or over-treatment of a primary headache.Tension headaches occur when neck and scalp muscles become tense, or contract.


 The muscle contractions can be a response to stress, depression, a head injury, or anxiety.It may be triggered by or get worse with stress, fatigue, noise, or glare. In some cases, the headache may be a symptom of a more serious disorder.


Stress is remarkable in its ability to cause or alter physical pain and diseases, and not for the better. Psychological stress can aggravate conditions such as migraine headaches, high blood pressure and can make stomach hurt.
It seem like will causes death or depression in long term.


Gastric cancer is cancer that starts in the stomach.Several different types of cancer can occur in the stomach. The most common is called adenocarcinoma, which starts from one of the common cell types found in the lining of the stomach.Symptoms are abdominal fullness or pain,weight loss,loss of appetites and others.

marriage D'amour 梦中的婚礼

D'amour mean that love....一首让我陶醉的歌。只要一播着，我就会随着它的旋律，慢慢的进入它的世界。。。

每当听着时，都会觉得轻快中带点忧伤，优美的旋律带点梦幻，多么的动听。。。还记得第一次听到歌名时，觉得很甜美很梦幻，或许那时还是爱做梦的时期吧。。。哈哈哈哈。。。那时还属于是可以发梦或者幻想的年纪。。。

时间很快的过去了，人也渐渐的改变了，而且以前的幻想都被现实社会打败了。但唯一不变的是，听着它时心情还是会变好。这或许就是人们常说的无论如何，人的心里还是会藏着三岁的那一颗心。。。

什么是快乐???

一般上，字典都写着快乐是觉得满足和幸福。德国哲学家认为快乐就是当我们的需求被满足了。。。

快乐的真正定义是这样吗？就那么的简单吗？

努力的把时间填满不是快乐吗？天天都保持着最美好的笑容不是快乐吗？努力地过着别人都羡慕的生活不是快乐吗？嘻嘻哈哈的过日子不是快乐吗？坚强的面对所有所有的一切并微笑的接受不是快乐吗？我以为是。。。

伤心是什么感觉我不了，也不想懂。。。因为既然可以选择快乐，开心，微笑的度过每一天，那为何还要选择难过呢。。。坚强的微笑，坦然的面对一切一切虽然不好受，但起码比难过的哭泣来得好，至少没有人懂。。。就算眼泪真的坚持不了，那就让它在心里流吧，至少在别人的眼中自己还是过得很好，并不需要安慰或可怜，也不会把伤心带给别人，更不会麻烦到别人。。。何乐不为呢？？？

太多的解释只会让人误会更深，倒不如坚强地接受，微笑的面对，起码还有那么的一点点尊严，起码眼泪不会被人看见，起码还可以潇洒的走过。。。

充实并填满每一天，这不就是快乐吗？我以为是，但发现原来快乐的真正定义是那么的简单，而很多人却无法拥有它。。。

我。。。已经决定了。。。

素华，我看到你写的东西了。。。就让我们一起去面对吧。。。泪也流了，也都发泄了，要说的都已经说了，要做的也已经做了。。。你做的已经够多了，所既然他还是这样，你决定要放，那就放吧。。。不管怎样，我都会支持你，因为我看到了你的努力。。

谢谢你们的陪伴。。。有你们，我才撑到现在。。。真的很爱你们。。。就好像我第二个家，没有再比你们好了。。。谢谢你们的关心。。。。你们的关心和鼓励，我都很珍惜。。。而我呢，泪也留干了，心也受伤了。。。但我。。。决定不放弃。。。或许你们会觉得我很傻，但是，我不想带着遗憾。他之前对我的不离不弃，默默地为我付出，让我觉得他就是我要的人。。。或许他并不是最好的那个，也不是最完美的那一个，但是，他对我来说，是个可以陪我到以后以后的那个人，也就是我的未来。。。就好像素华说的，男生追你时跟一起后的态度完全不同，现在开始他对我可能不再像以前那样，或许会更加伤害我，但，我要尝试。。。我要为我们的未来在努力。。。

就因为是他，所以我想再努力。。。或许我并不是那么的优秀，但我会尽我的能力。。。希望他能看见，也能明白我的心意。。。如果当中会有很多挫折，也或许一切都顺利。我不懂。。。我只知道我会加油的。。。

薇：不要再偷偷躲进房里了，要哭一起哭。。。素华，chee keong也是。。。kei, 等你不减肥时，我们再去吃。。。

你们也要加油哦。。。=)

Dreams......

Again...and again...i dream you again... i don't like it...NO..i should say that i hate it !!!

First time, you leave me ......my tears drop and wet my pillow... it's make me afflict... just feel like the whole night was difficult to pass it, summore the movement of clock was clearly... it's influence me for few days... i told you, but you laugh and console me that it just a dream... it was nothing... ask me don't think about it again... but, at the end, it's come true...

Second time, i smile... you find me... and we were had lots of sweet time... we do everything as usual... we are happy... i saw you smile happily... and those that you told me... it's touch... but it's just a dream...there's no more when the moment that i open my eyes and wake up... i know it's just a dream...but, it make my mood happy for whole day...

Third time, i saw you again...but, there's a girl beside you... she, is your current girlfriend... and i know her... should i tell her what i had passed by or just say what they are saying just rumor,don't believe it??? i don't know... by the way, i don't think that she will believe me and feel that maybe i just a people who want to make both of you to break up, influence the relationship  between you and her. when i heard that you couple with her, it's a joke for me... cause... she just a nobody... a nobody that both of us will say about when we talk about your friend... this joke was killing me and i realise that your taste really variables... and i still remember the comment that you give her to me, just a normal girl that no care about image,no make up,even seldom to dress up herself...she having a normal life which are different with us...this is what you said... but, at the end, you choose her...it's really funny but sad... sad that why my dreams will destroy by both of you...

anyway, it;s just a dream...just like what you told me when i 1st time dream you...i don't know what i will do in future...but, i don't think that i will help you to tell her that what people saying just bull shit...i'm not going to do that because if she believe you, she will not listen what i say no matter good or bad...summore,you expert in this...so, i'm not going to make myself trouble since that's non of my bussiness... hope that i will be ok today and won't influence by this dream again...

God bless me~~~

one action can cause lots of problems ~~~~~

for me,maybe there was nothing...but for others,maybe they will feel that there are something wrong,it's crazy,it was terrible and so on...izzit there are so much differences between us??? now i realized that every action that we did,every word that we said,everything that we think about,even is every food that we eat also have their effects just as the pon and core that we said about...
but sometimes,it's really annoying that if what we do and think about is different with what they try to get the meaning from it...you will feel that you are getting crazy when keep on repeat what you are actually want to tell them...this is why people always said 'vomit blood'...
this is what i face today...i chat with my friend and he was angry even jealous...this is what i did...for me,maybe i feel tat there's nothing...but for him,not.maybe he have his own reason...and,i get it...finally,i was apologize to him...anyway,this is what i should do if i really want to settle it...summore,i also have my own fault...i should not roar like a lion...haha,it's funny to use lion to describe about myself...for me,if tolerate can settle a trouble between us,why don't we just do it...same to him also...everyone also have their good and bad...sometimes,i even hate about his temper...however,i still can be patient...'there's no worth or not,just have want or not',this is what he told me before,an i will never forget it...i don't like to think about people's bad...because i feel that we have to realise about people's good before we learn it...
he was a hardworking boy actually...although he was a 'king of cold joke'...disbursement without any returns attracted me.that's why i can see him that time...i like his serious face but i'm trying to accept and justice his funny 'cold joke'...summore,he really can fight the champion of 'cold joke' with my new housemate,davis hanghang..wahahahaha....i like to see them talk about nonsense and also with all of them...it's really make me hapi and smile,even is laugh...because of his 'joke',all of us also have topic to talk about,summore got show can watch...we really like a family,it's warm to me..and i appreciate him and also them..that's why i like stay at here compare to last time...

                                    omg,that's him~~~so cute~~~it's really make me laugh for whole day..

                                                                    Jogoya time ^^v

                                                              our 'family' tao's time :)
 from left to right... my sifu who teach me cook and 'sot' lengzai-xwei,sure with a princess-me,our walao girl-suh hua,our queen who expert in food-kei,a sadness king of ktv-chee keong

and............still have the 'cold joke'partner-davis hanghang...i'm not sure what's wrong with my laptop because his photo cant upload...what i can say just is 1 sentence,face problem... :) forgive me pls....
he is my new housemate...a talent boy...like his music so much XD

你。。。终于看到了我的改变。。。

有付出就一定会有回报吗？我并不这么认为。。。你，后悔了吗？当你找我时，你问了我一句，“以前那天真善良的我去了哪里。。。现在的我让你觉得比以前冷血，奸诈多了”。。。
你对了。。。我的冷血，因为你而培养出来的。我的奸诈因为有你的教导所以才成功的训练出来。。。我应该感激你。因为你，我长大了。。。
我，只要拿回属于我的东西。。。我自在必得。。。我要你知道，没有了你，我并不会怎么样，我还是可以一个人好好的过。。。而且，我会比以前更好。。。
人本来就寂寞孤单的，这我早就知道。。。发生了的事，造成的伤害，是永远无法改变，也无法弥补的。。。我不会忘记，但也不允许再发生在我身上。。。
我的改变你都看到了，满意吗？这就是你所谓的“成熟”。。。但你一点都没变，还是老样子。
我，敬佩你。但也渐渐的看不起你了。。。你的所做所为都让我觉得卑鄙，但也让我觉得佩服。
无论如何，我已经把你“戒掉”了，而且永远不会再“上瘾”。。。